The world’s moving too fast, what’s happening? It feels just like I’ve aged ten years, I’m a twenty-something year old who feels old, really old. Damn it. I’m so busy with studying that I’m neglecting ‘me’; I don’t know what to do anymore.
What if the pressure builds up? What if I lost control?
I’m scared, confused and tired. I’ll throw ‘demotivated’ in there while I’m at it.
I was listening to ‘Ruby’ by the Kaiser Chiefs and parts of the lyrics hit close to home, “Cos there’s so little else occupying my head/There is nothing I need except the function to breathe.”….”Let the clocks be reset and the pendulums held/Cos there’s nothing at all except the space in between.” Listen to the song and watch their video here.
It’s very windy outside today and I hate windy weather. My hair blows around and the wind thinks it’s funny when I’m being blown around here and there. Evil, evil wind.
My cell phone isn’t working and I feel as if a limb has been hacked off of my body. I never knew my cell phone was so important to me until it died. On second thought, I never received text messages, nobody called, so why on earth am I so blue that I don’t have it? Scratch the importance of a cell phone, at least my mp3 player is working! I’m currently listening to Coldplay, I’ve always liked them, but I’ve neglected them for a few months and when they played on my mp3 player earlier this morning I couldn’t stop listening to their tracks…over and over again.
I love their ‘Talk’ video. I remember when it came out last year(?) I thought it was the most original video I had ever seen. I’m currently listening to it now and a girl sitting next to me (I’m at university) just looked at me as if I’ve lost the plot. What did I do right after she shot me the look? I increased the volume. Stubborn, aren’t I?
My favourite part is, “So you don’t know where you’re going and you want to talk?/And you feel like you’re going where you’ve been before?/You tell anyone who’ll listen but you feel ignored./Nothing is really making any sense at all.”
I really relate to that part. I think I’m at a point in my life where I’m not sure what I want or what I’m looking forward to. I’m trying hard to satisfy those who expect so much from me (dare I mention who??) I can’t stand the look of disappointment and trust me, I’ve seen it a lot. There actually come times in my life where I’ll talk to anyone if they’ll listen. Nobody seems to want to listen to a confused twenty something.
Tagged by Cerebrosus, ‘the book you’re reading’ tag.
The book I’m currently reading is called, ‘The Sands of Sakkara‘ by Glenn Meade.
Page 123, lines 7, 8 and 9:
Apart from the obvious time constraints, the long-range weather reports for the Mediterranean regions are pretty grim. So I want you well under way in case we can’t make the drop later.
Anyone reading this who likes the tag, has my blessings of tagging themselves.
I’ve been tagged by Cerebrosus and I can hardly contain my excitement! My very first tag, and it’s ‘five things you don’t know about me’. Let’s get cracking.
1. I don’t carry any cash with me. Plastic is my best friend.
2. When needed, I can get very dramatic. Let’s just say I’m spoiled, really, really spoiled.
3. I have no intentions on getting married. Everyone I know is getting divorced or going through a divorce. The life of a single woman is one I shall always treasure.
4. I’d rather spend all my time reading than socializing.
5. Are any of you aware of the ‘take your number please’ machines? Where you click on a button and a number comes out? Well, I was at the bank last month, I pressed the button and a woman next to me took it. I kicked her in the shin. I actually kicked her in the shin and demanded the paper with my number back. You didn’t really expect me to do nothing, did you?
This means I have to tag somebody right? I suppose anybody who would like to be tagged has my blessings.
I saw this on Sou’s blog. She always puts up a music video or song at the end of her posts; I really like the idea, so I’m stealing it.
Adjusting to waking up at the wee hours of the morning is a pain in the butt, and if anybody says otherwise, they’re a big fat liar. Funny (funny?) thing is, I’ve been back to university for two weeks and now I’ve got a week off. “Jay, don’t you love public holidays?” Yeah, I guess. The disadvantage though, is that my sleeping patterns get ruined and trying to adjust again in two weeks is excruciating. The horror, oh the horror.
For some unknown reason, I’ve managed to bite off my fingernails. I don’t need anyone to remind me what it means when I bite my nails and I also don’t need anyone to remind me how disgusting my fingers look; I already know. I’ve been so stressed out lately but in a way, I’m used to it. Truckloads of reading, summarizing, preparation and the heaviest truckload of all: family. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to whoop in joy or pull my hair out when I mention the “f” word.
I’m the eldest of three and it isn’t a piece of cake; I’ve always been the guinea pig, “Hey, let’s try this out on Jay…crap, didn’t work, alright, now we know how to do it right.” Oh joy, oh joy, oh joy. Issues doesn’t even start to describe what I’ve got, I think I would have been classified as a down right psycho if I hadn’t channeled my frustration towards reading or music. Ahh..music. Once upon a time I used to be a great (stretching the truth there) trumpeter but the whole spit valve thing really grossed me out, so I quit and now I can’t play a trumpet to save my life. “Way to go Jay…could you be any stupider?” I take it that was a rhetorical question, right?
I’m eating yoghurt right now and it’s very delicious. Nothing like a cup of yoghurt to drive the blues away.
Introducing you to one of my favourite songs of all time:
I can never get bored of that song, c’est impossible!
